Numinal vs. Phenomenal

Almost exactly two years ago, I had the good fortune of meeting a wonderful couple in their early twenties. They travelled west to the island from Ontario doing their best to live life to the fullest. They are musical, artistic, creative, brave, independent and fun to be around. They described themselves as hippies in a good natured way. To my surprise, I didn't know hippies were still a thing! :)

When I was their age, I was the opposite. Living in fear, and only concerned about making money. I don't know how many young people there are like Isaac and Rachelle, but it is reassuring to know that they actually exist. It gives me hope. It also assures me that, by way of meeting them, I too am on the right track.

We met by chance at a roadside coffee truck and trusted each other enough to co-exist on the same property for 2 months. I can hardly believe that it was only 2 months because it feels like it was much longer (in a good way). Meeting them was the universe winking at me because, as it turns out, they too are truth seekers! I admired the organic and genuine way they were seeking the truth; doing it in their own unique creative way, seemingly independent of any teacher or any particular spiritual tradition. Again, the opposite of me, since I was too dependent on the teacher.

During their stay, Isaac wrote an essay called Numinal vs. Phenomenal. Again, wow! I don't remember the content of Isaac's essay but it is not important for the purpose of this blog post (so it helps that neither of us were able to find it :) First, let me define what is meant by phenomenal and numinal experience.

Phenomenal experience is typically used to describe the totality of the human experience. The human phenomenal experience consists of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, smell, taste, touch, sound and sight. Science, for example, is 100% dedicated to the study of phenomena. (In fact, they pretend as if conscious experience does not exist...which is not a problem when creating technology)

All humans share similar phenomenal experiences. Phenomenal experience has objective qualities and we share common languages so that we can describe and communicate phenomenal experiences to each other such as the redness of an apple or a toothache.

Numinal is a word used to describe that part of our experience that is not phenomenal.

One day this summer I was walking around and it hit me....holy shit...there is a part of my experience that is not phenomenal. This understanding literally stopped me in my tracks.

The content of Isaac's beautiful essay aside, what is significant for me is the understanding that there is a part of my experience that is not phenomenal. Holy shit batman. Our certainty of this fact is everything. It is the simple acknowledgment of Awareness being aware of itself independent of objects.

'Aware of being aware' is a unique experience that has nothing to do with perceptions of the body or the world. Everyone's phenomenal experience is completely unique...no one has access to your thoughts or bodily sensations or perceptions of the world. However, everyone's experience of Awareness or Consciousness is identical. In other words, we all have the exact same experience when we experientially travel to the source of I AM. Isn't it strange how we see each other as being so different when the core experience of "I" is exactly the same? Not similar, identical.

Describing the experience 'Aware of Being Aware' is challenging. Words tend to fail us because they were created to describe experiences with objective qualities. Although everyone has access to this experience, it typically goes completely unnoticed or rendered as insignificant.

It is the opposite of insignificant...acknowledging that this experience is undeniably real eventually leads us to the experiential understanding that somewhere behind my eyes, at the center of my experience, is the center of reality. It is a center without borders.

At the end of the day, however, the distinction between numinal and phenomenal experience is artificial because they can never be separated from each other, and more importantly, they are different levels of reality. The experience of pure Awareness is the experience of reality experiencing itself and phenomena is nothing but objects appearing and disappearing in this greater reality. Only Awareness is real and the objects of experience can never be separated from Myself. In reality, there is only Awareness.

Isaac and Rachelle also introduced me to art. One evening I found myself painting for the first time since I was a child. It was a scary and exciting experience. I am now taking art lessons. Meeting them is the gift that keeps on giving.

To Isaac and Rachelle I say this: their life is their art and they are doing it beautifully.